Friday, November 13, 2009

Racial Road Rage in the Parking Lot

So I was turning into a parking spot by my gym. I had my signal on and was waiting for a huge truck to pass so I could park. There were TWO spots there and I had to turn left into it. Instead the guy starts to turn into my car. I rolled down the window and he yelled "What are you doing?!" I said "I'm trying to park there." He said "So am I! I'm backing in. Move your car!"

I move to another spot and as I drive away he yells after me "F-ing B-". I got out of my car, shaking. As I passed him, walking toward the gym building I said, "Calling me a name was not necessary."
"You didn't have your signal on. Learn how to drive!"
"I did have my signal on. You didn't see it. You sir, are immature, calling me names in the parking lot." I said as I was walking away.
"Sure play the racial card!" He yells back.

...? *blink blink*

"What? How is calling you immature anything to do with your race?" I said. (I think he was native. I can't tell.)
"Learn how to drive!" He yelled.
I ignored him and went into the gym, shaking and flustered.

Tell me how is that a racial slur? Are natives called immature? I'm a Native American!! One quarter Native! How how how?? I think it's because it's Friday the 13th.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Keeping With the Obsession Theme of My Sister-in-Law

So I currently am obsessed with yoga. I go three times a week to the gym and I want more.

I recently (ok not that recently) lost 40 pounds so I can now do yoga without falling on my ass. There is a ton of balance involved. It is a great feeling when all you have is going into each pose. My downward dog is getting better along with my warrior one and two. I want to be able to do crane pose. HA!Crane pose is the picture posted. It is harder than you would think. I will get it one day.

I am having trouble meditating at the end of the class. My mind wanders about what I'm making for dinner. What I should say to whichever kid is in trouble. What is next in my plan for getting back home, etc. So I push away the thoughts only to have them return. It is much easier to have a blank mind when you are actually doing the poses. Then you are concentrating on your body.

I do feel relaxed for the most part afterward. There is a class that I'm going to at the gym the involves some tai chi with the yoga. It's just the warm up but still cool to do the tai chi. Again a lot of balance work with it. One never realizes how out balance one is until you try dancer's pose or eagle pose. I wonder if sense of balance in my body has anything to do with my life being out of balance...?

P.S. Apparently cats like cream of chicken soup.

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin

Here we go, numero uno.

I'm pretty sure that I have not been very true to myself lately. A lot of ridiculous and dramatic events have happened; I have lost myself to them. So this blog is here to help me return to myself.

So here I am thousands of miles from home (not to mention in a foreign country). Trying to raise children that are not mine. Missing my mother. Missing home. And looking for the courage to keep going. I know that in the end I will make it. Heck it took me forever to get my degree but I did it. I can do this.